This morning while driving to work I was listening to a recording of Louise Hay’s affirmations. I’ve had a pretty troubling week and sought this time on the drive into the city to find some inner peace. I’ve been called a liar by someone I felt I was close to. Someone who I have always tried to support and encourage and have defended to others. I am very hurt and quite upset.
I’ve heard it said that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. To me, to forgive another means that I will no longer be emotionally affected by what they have done to hurt me. I can accept that but if to forgive is to not be emotionally affected by another’s actions or words, then how do you forgive someone you are afraid of?
Just as I arrived in the city I listened to the following affirmation:
“My life is a mirror. Every person in my life is a reflection of some part of me. The people I love reflect the loving aspects of myself. The people I dislike reflect the parts of myself that need healing. Every experience in life is an opportunity for growth and healing. The people in my life are really mirrors of me. This affords me the opportunity to grow and to change.”
Listening to this made me think of the person who has hurt me. If there is any truth to this affirmation, then my fear of this person is an echo of the fear I have had from when I lived with an abusive man and a fear from which, apparently, I have not yet entirely healed. Funny how things you think you have resolved have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass.
My gift to myself then is to work on healing this old wound so that I may grant myself the greater gift of forgiveness. Every experience in life is an opportunity for growth and healing.